This thanksgiving

This year is the worst, but best thanksgiving ever. How can that be possible?

It's very disappointing when you hurt the person that you are most thankful for. Yes, I admit it.

Dear Bestfriend,

I know at times it seems like everything is against you, but you have to understand that I will always be here to give you a hand. There are times where the feeling of loneliness gets the best of you, but you cannot argue that there aren't people who truly care for you. Sometimes you might feel like everyone looks down on you, but you have to know that some people do not know how it is to be in your shoes. The people who actually have a clue to how diligent you are, value your traits. When you feel like you are the worst person ever, you have to think of who you are and what you do. You're right, you don't live a normal life the other people your age do, but take those people and put them in your place and probably all of them will crack. You're special because you continue to work diligently towards a bright life, despite of all the struggles you have gone through, or going through. I understand that your tasks in life are difficult enough for most people to give up on, and that's why I'm here. I'll always take care of you and help you get through your day.
I am very thankful to have someone like you who cares so much about me. You never fail to put a smile on my face even during the hard times. I would not know what to do with myself without someone like you. You are sweet. You are smart. You are beautiful. Remember that.


PS:

MWAAARGHAAGAHAAAAHHH!

Whooo!

It's not even my birthday yet and I already know its going to be the best birthday ever thanks to you hahaha. I feel so blessed. best gf ever. seriously

"There is nothing more fictional than a peace where people can truly understand each other."

-Pain

It's No Joke

"Forever"

Forever is such a strong word, and sometimes it is very overused. Many couples tell each other they will love each other forever, but do they really mean it? Especially with young adults, they are just too naive and sometimes they don't really think of it. When I think of this, I think of commitment. When they say such thing, it means being with that person forever. Sometimes couples think about being with each other forever, and when they do, they only think about the good things, like marriage, honeymoon, children, and their future house, etc. A lot of them don't think about this as critical as they should, before actually saying it or promising it.

The way I think of it, is a lifetime commitment where two individuals share the ups and downs of this world. Sometimes it means choosing that person as first priority over your most valued personal interests or goals. And If you really think about it, sometimes there are more bad things that happen to you than good. It's about being happy together no matter how bad the situation is. If you think of all the bad things that can possibly happen in the future like -financial problems, sickness, death of loved ones- and you can still say you are willing to experience those things with that one person for the rest of your life, then maybe you truly do mean it. I know I do.

Thankful

I'm thankful for i have someone that fully accepts who I am, knowing everything about me, knowing all my terrible flaws. Honestly, I am unworthy and I know it, because I'm not good enough. I know people that have done so many good things and end up with sadness and sorrow, and I'm the one being accepted and loved. I have the greatest thing ever, and I don't know why. God loves me.

Toy Story 3..

Reminds me of when my parents threw away my action figure collection. hahaha. no matter how old I get, I will always remember them and miss them. hahahah. call me immature,but there's always a child/kid in everyone.

Welcome to My World

Sometimes I feel like nobody really understands me and the way I am. I hope I don't offend anyone with this, but this is how I really feel. This is not the first time, I have always had this feeling. It's not with just one person, but everyone. This makes me feel like I need to change, just so that I can be understood by people. Maybe there's just something wrong with me.

Sometimes I can't turn to anyone, but HIM. Sometimes nobody can help me, but HIM.

Random

One Day.....one of these days.....
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Just relax, lie down, and think about how much you really have....
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Burnett's class is the most valuable class I've ever taken.

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They're back! Omg I'm so happy I can cry. No joke.

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"Wouldn't it be nice if we were older
Then we wouldn't have to wait so long"
-BB

Sometimes

sometimesit'stheconfusioninnotknowingwhatpointofviewyoushouldlookatsometimesit'sjustthelackofunderstandingsometimesit'slearningtoacceptthetruththathurtssometimesit'slearning howtobepatientsometimesit'sthebattleofwhoisfirsttoadjustsometimesit'slovingthethingsyouhatesometimesit'sjustmaturingsometimesit'stimetochange.

lucky number 6

It's been so long, so happy.

Staring at my ceiling

A few weeks ago, i told myself that my life sucked. Now i feel stupid for saying that. I thought about it. Thinking by myself at night staring at the ceiling, helps me a lot haha. I tend to think a lot..maybe too much. I'm a complainer and that is the truth. After all those hours spent in my room alone, I resulted to the conclusion that i have everything I need. I don't need fighting classes, or more money, or a house...... okay i take that back, maybe I DO need a house after all, but the point is, I cant really ask for anything more. I got what I need. I'm so thankful for the things i have. I probably say that all the time, but its forreal. After all those times i felt like i had no one, i realized that i have everyone that matters. The friends that I grew up with (and now are in their own separate ways) have always been here for me. My teachers once told me that college is where you will find your real friends, and that your friends now will only go away after a certain phase of your life. Now I'm forsure that was all bulllcrap. We may not be smart in spending our time equally with each other(because we're so busy now), but whenever we're in need, we are always there for each other. Sometimes we don't talk for months, but we always come to each other's rescue. And You.....yea without you I would not even be thinking this positive. I know at times we get irritated of each other and we end up fighting, but no matter how angry I get, I know that I'm just so happy because you're in my life because I will never find anyone else better than you. You make me a happier and better person. And as for the people at home......oh man i seriously want to get away from your annoying selves, but I will always love you guys unconditionally. We never have/had perfect chemistry with each other, but just the fact that we care for each other, makes us into a great family.
These people have made my life amazing, and will continue to be with me. Why do i believe that? It's because I know we will all stay together, because we are all connected. The reason why we remain so close, and will always be close to each other, is because of God. I thought about it, and God is the one that kept/keeps us together because we are all close to Him. The problems of this world cant touch me as long as I have you guys.






PS: it does not mean i wont complain anymore:)

:(

2 months left? Who knows. Bye bye McClure. It was nice staying here in your safe ass gated community.

I better get my own room lol.

For the few that care....

Update.

February and March = Crap

Current Mood = GooooooOoooOOoooooOD!

Everything seems to be in place again..........Well, almost.

I thank The Father for helping me, and for all the ones who stayed by my side, especially my bestfriends. And thank YOU for making me the happiest guy ever.

PS
School sucks balls

Favorite Boxers from My Neighborhood

The Best
Nonito Donaire(left) from SanLeandro

Andre Ward(right) from Oakland/Hayward

Reminiscing the Old Favorites

(R.I.P Seba Jun)

Reocurring dreams

Being chased
"To dream that you are being chased, signifies that you are avoiding a situation that you do not think is conquerable. It is often a metaphor for some form of insecurity"

"Chase dreams are one of several common dream themes, stemming from feelings of anxiety in your waking life"

"Your actions in the dream parallel how you would respond to pressure and cope with fears, stress or various situations in your waking life." "The pursuer or attacker who is chasing you in your dream may also represent an aspect of yourself. Your own feelings of anger, jealousy, fear, and possibly love, can manifest itself as the threatening figure."

Losing/decaying teeth
"To dream that you have rotten or decaying teeth, forewarns that your health and/or business is in jeopardy."

source: dreammoods.com

And another one.

Wow. Another bad day. They just keep coming don't they? Things don't seem to get any better.

Reality

I finally found out why i've been so different lately. I found out why i've been so frustrated. I have never really thought of it until now. It is because I am trying to hide from reality. Worries are worries. You cannot tell yourself to forget about them. Positive thinking always helps, but they don't get rid of your troubles. People tend to make themselves feel better by lying and telling themselves that everything is going to be okay, but in reality, you never know what will/can happen. It's really up to God. He decides on what is going to happen.
I've been clingy for company lately. Clingy to the people that can make me happy. The people that can make me laugh and smile even through these days. I apologize for being annoying. When someone has nothing to do at all, especially at home, they tend to think about a lot of things. I know I do. When you start thinking about something, you start to think of other things, such as the troubles you are going through. Sometimes it's bad to think too much. That's why nowadays, I've played the role of "that annoying person that keeps calling". hah. That's also why I've asked for a lot of attention. I have never really complained for attention before until now.
I'm going to contradict myself, by saying that worrying and thinking too much about problems that you cannot do anything about, is probably my worst habit. Plus, it's not good for you, and is considered a sin. God does not want you to worry. If you pray to Him, and trust Him, everything will be fine. It's the truth.

I just joined the guessing game

-I just lost all my respect for you. I completely trusted you and you took advantage of it.

-I thought you were really cool at first, but you just pissed me off. And be a little more legit.

-Why did we drift apart? Maybe one day we'll all get back together. Just letting you know, I'm always looking out for you. (creepy hahaha)

-Where have you been?? I guess since you're happy now you don't need me.

-Man im hella jealous of you. You know how long I've wanted to do that??? hahah. I'll still whoop you.

-I've taken advantage of you, and you know it, but you still continue to let me. You're a true brotha.

-You changed my life so much in so little time. You changed everything. I'm thankful.

-What happened to us? I guess distance does really change things.

-I hope you find you're way back. Stop taken them. We still care.

-You're one of the few that i actually still trust. I can tell you anything even if we don't talk as much. Bestfriends til' death mah nigga. hahah

BFB$ at its best

Yo what happened to the good old days with us 3 losers?

current mood

I will not stop worrying until I'm sure they're okay. I haven't been myself because of all this. I need to get myself together, but i can't until I"m sure of things. Praying is the only thing I can do about all this. Happiness=60%

rainy days...

I got too many things to worry about. fml

Favorite Fighters

Boxing:

Joshua Clottey

Manny Pacquiao(if he truly is clean)

Andre Ward

Nonito Donaire

MMA:

Mauricio Shogun Rua

Alistair Overeem

Fedor Emelianenko

Nick Diaz

Kickboxing:

Badr Hari

formspring.me

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/MarkLagTheMan

Wait! There's more!

As in, more to add on to my resolution(s)!

Before the end of this year, I want to finally...

come out of the closet.
Oh, and to never stay logged on Blogspot on someone else's computer. Especially Arianne's.

Your friend,
Mark Lagman